A Madd Morning

I don't want to be afraid anymore. I am afraid of the people I love dying, being taken from me too early. Today, my stepdaughters' stepfather was killed in a motorcycle accident. It happens in a moment and perhaps when you least expect it. I remember all too well that day the doctor gave us the diagnosis of Ron's brain tumor. We had nine months to hope and to say goodbye and to prepare, yet in that one moment of the doctor's strange words, our lives were turned upside down. Life is precious. The loss is devastating. We live through it. We go on. Still, I fear the devastation of the call that one of my children have been killed or seriously injured or lost or... How can I lose this fear? I try to trust, I try to let go, I try to know that my fears are irrational. But I still fear. I want to protect, but I know that I cannot. I want to be free of this fear. I don't want to be afraid anymore.